( the camera pans across the war room of the 21st precinct, and comes to rest on the forelorn face of officer Desk Duty, attempting to cope with his new assignment )
Wojo : Hey doble D, what’s shakin’ ?
DD : Not a whole hell of a lot, Wojo, and it’s driving me mashugana.
There are only 20 players in all of MLB, TWENTY, that strike out a higher percentage of the time than piss.FUCKING TWENTY, and he looks back at the umpire after every called strike!
BTW, there are only 5 players w/ a higher % than bay
( the camera pans across the war room of the 21st precinct, and comes to rest on the forelorn face of officer Desk Duty, attempting to cope with his new assignment )
Wojo : Hey doble D, what’s shakin’ ?
DD : Not a whole hell of a lot, Wojo, and it’s driving me mashugana.
Wojo : Don’t sweat it, you’ll get used to it.
DD : That’s just it, I don’t want to get used to it. I need to be out there pounding the pavement, collaring the skells, getting my hands dirty.
Wojo : I wouldn’t worry about getting my hands dirty, wait ’till you see the crapper.
( detective Fish makes his entrance, obviously agitated )
Fisf : Okay, who’s the wise ass who replaced my hemorrhoid cushion with a temporary tire ?
( scattered laughter echoes throughout the squadroom )
Dietrich : ( addressing DD ) Hey rookie, do me a favor, process this collar for me, the new issue of ” Jugs ” is in, and I want to break it in, if you know what I mean.
DD : Sure Dietrich, what’ya got ?
Dietrich : Solicitation, nabbed her behind a dumpster taking a piss.
DD : How’s that solicitation ?
Dietrich : The guy that was lying underneath her.
DD : Have a seat, cookie.
( Sassy Puterschmidt, a well known woman of ill repute, takes a seat )
Sassy : Hey, don’t I know you ?
DD : Sure doll, I busted your ass a couple times.
Sassy : I knew you looked familiar, you’re the one with one nut the size of a chic pea.
DD : Save it, sister. I’ll be right with ya.
( the phone rings )
Phone : Ring ring, …ring ring.
DD : Hello, 21st precinct, double D speaking.
Phone : Ring ring, …ring ring.
DD : Hello, …hello ! What is this, some kinda crank call ?
Sassy : Honey, you’re talking into a stapler.
DD : I knew that.
( DD picks up the phone )
DD : Hello, 21st precinct, DD speaking……………oh, hi honey, what’s up ?
Phone : Wah wah, wah wah wah, wah wah.
DD : Look snookums, I’m in the middle of something……….wait, ……. ok, ok, I got it, I got it, …. A quart of milk, a jar of Nutella, and Lice shampoo, …….ok, bye.
Sassy : Who was that, the little woman ?
DD : He doesn’t like to be called that.
( as DD types the monotonous information, his mind wanders back to the days of yore, when he emulated his idol, Harvey Keitel as the Bad Lieutenant )
DD : ( dream sequence ) C’mon Murphy, just 1 fuckin’ hit, you bastard !
( Murphy hit’s into a DP, and DD takes a pull of the brown bag bottle, and then empties a vial of cocaine into his nostrils )
"During my 18 years I came to bat almost 10,000 times. I struck out about 1,700 times and walked maybe 1,800 times. You figure a ballplayer will average about 500 at-bats a season. That means I played 7 years without ever hitting the ball." - Mickey Mantle
who is this?
155PA w/ RISP .298BA 16BB 14K 54RBI
Tex?
Melky
Take out the walks and Bay was 82rbi in 139 ab (59%)
Drew was 46 rbi in 108 ab (43%).
The fact that they are even having this discussion trying to make up value for Drew these days is silly!
( the camera pans across the war room of the 21st precinct, and comes to rest on the forelorn face of officer Desk Duty, attempting to cope with his new assignment )
Wojo : Hey doble D, what’s shakin’ ?
DD : Not a whole hell of a lot, Wojo, and it’s driving me mashugana.
I guess Melky will be asking for 19 per?
Tex had 26 solo HR.
That was a quick bad guess,just for shits and giggles Lev,what were Tex’s numbers
And FanGraphs will say Melky is worth it J.
Tex is around 33% as well.
Tex is 77 rbi in 222 pa (34.6%) and 174 ab (44.2%)
Damn
Al is 67 rbi in 193 pa (35%) and 151 ab (44 %)
Too bad there’s not a site to see the current,and historical leaders
Just out of curiosity
Pujols 83 rbi in 189 pa (44%) and 119 ab (69.7%)
pujols is a stud
How bout Matsui?
65 rbi in 176 pa (37%) and 142 ab (45.7%)
Mattingly career, 38%, 46%
There are only 20 players in all of MLB, TWENTY, that strike out a higher percentage of the time than piss.FUCKING TWENTY, and he looks back at the umpire after every called strike!
BTW, there are only 5 players w/ a higher % than bay
NEW THREAD!!!!!
25.5% for piss.
And just FYI, wright is one of the 20 players w/ a higher # at 26.2%
Punk poster boy.Piss that is
( the camera pans across the war room of the 21st precinct, and comes to rest on the forelorn face of officer Desk Duty, attempting to cope with his new assignment )
Wojo : Hey doble D, what’s shakin’ ?
DD : Not a whole hell of a lot, Wojo, and it’s driving me mashugana.
Wojo : Don’t sweat it, you’ll get used to it.
DD : That’s just it, I don’t want to get used to it. I need to be out there pounding the pavement, collaring the skells, getting my hands dirty.
Wojo : I wouldn’t worry about getting my hands dirty, wait ’till you see the crapper.
( detective Fish makes his entrance, obviously agitated )
Fisf : Okay, who’s the wise ass who replaced my hemorrhoid cushion with a temporary tire ?
( scattered laughter echoes throughout the squadroom )
Dietrich : ( addressing DD ) Hey rookie, do me a favor, process this collar for me, the new issue of ” Jugs ” is in, and I want to break it in, if you know what I mean.
DD : Sure Dietrich, what’ya got ?
Dietrich : Solicitation, nabbed her behind a dumpster taking a piss.
DD : How’s that solicitation ?
Dietrich : The guy that was lying underneath her.
DD : Have a seat, cookie.
( Sassy Puterschmidt, a well known woman of ill repute, takes a seat )
Sassy : Hey, don’t I know you ?
DD : Sure doll, I busted your ass a couple times.
Sassy : I knew you looked familiar, you’re the one with one nut the size of a chic pea.
DD : Save it, sister. I’ll be right with ya.
( the phone rings )
Phone : Ring ring, …ring ring.
DD : Hello, 21st precinct, double D speaking.
Phone : Ring ring, …ring ring.
DD : Hello, …hello ! What is this, some kinda crank call ?
Sassy : Honey, you’re talking into a stapler.
DD : I knew that.
( DD picks up the phone )
DD : Hello, 21st precinct, DD speaking……………oh, hi honey, what’s up ?
Phone : Wah wah, wah wah wah, wah wah.
DD : Look snookums, I’m in the middle of something……….wait, ……. ok, ok, I got it, I got it, …. A quart of milk, a jar of Nutella, and Lice shampoo, …….ok, bye.
Sassy : Who was that, the little woman ?
DD : He doesn’t like to be called that.
( as DD types the monotonous information, his mind wanders back to the days of yore, when he emulated his idol, Harvey Keitel as the Bad Lieutenant )
DD : ( dream sequence ) C’mon Murphy, just 1 fuckin’ hit, you bastard !
( Murphy hit’s into a DP, and DD takes a pull of the brown bag bottle, and then empties a vial of cocaine into his nostrils )
DD : Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, ooooooooooooooooo, nnnnooooooooooooooo !! Murphy, you mick cocksucker !
( as DD laments his mounting gambling debt, he inadvertently mows down Regis Philben, who was making his way down the sidewalk )
( The picture fades out )
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