Wojo : Hey doble D, what’s shakin’ ?

DD : Not a whole hell of a lot, Wojo, and it’s driving me mashugana.

Wojo : Don’t sweat it, you’ll get used to it.

DD : That’s just it, I don’t want to get used to it. I need to be out there pounding the pavement, collaring the skells, getting my hands dirty.

Wojo : I wouldn’t worry about getting my hands dirty, wait ’till you see the crapper.

( detective Fish makes his entrance, obviously agitated )

Fisf : Okay, who’s the wise ass who replaced my hemorrhoid cushion with a temporary tire ?

( scattered laughter echoes throughout the squadroom )

Dietrich : ( addressing DD ) Hey rookie, do me a favor, process this collar for me, the new issue of ” Jugs ” is in, and I want to break it in, if you know what I mean.

DD : Sure Dietrich, what’ya got ?

Dietrich : Solicitation, nabbed her behind a dumpster taking a piss.

DD : How’s that solicitation ?

Dietrich : The guy that was lying underneath her.

DD : Have a seat, cookie.

( Sassy Puterschmidt, a well known woman of ill repute, takes a seat )

Sassy : Hey, don’t I know you ?

DD : Sure doll, I busted your ass a couple times.

Sassy : I knew you looked familiar, you’re the one with one nut the size of a chic pea.

DD : Save it, sister. I’ll be right with ya.

( the phone rings )

Phone : Ring ring, …ring ring.

DD : Hello, 21st precinct, double D speaking.

Phone : Ring ring, …ring ring.

DD : Hello, …hello ! What is this, some kinda crank call ?

Sassy : Honey, you’re talking into a stapler.

DD : I knew that.

( DD picks up the phone )

DD : Hello, 21st precinct, DD speaking……………oh, hi honey, what’s up ?

Phone : Wah wah, wah wah wah, wah wah.

DD : Look snookums, I’m in the middle of something……….wait, ……. ok, ok, I got it, I got it, …. A quart of milk, a jar of Nutella, and Lice shampoo, …….ok, bye.

Sassy : Who was that, the little woman ?

DD : He doesn’t like to be called that.

( as DD types the monotonous information, his mind wanders back to the days of yore, when he emulated his idol, Harvey Keitel as the Bad Lieutenant )

DD : ( dream sequence ) C’mon Murphy, just 1 fuckin’ hit, you bastard !

( Murphy hit’s into a DP, and DD takes a pull of the brown bag bottle, and then empties a vial of cocaine into his nostrils )

DD : Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, ooooooooooooooooo, nnnnooooooooooooooo !! Murphy, you mick cocksucker !

( as DD laments his mounting gambling debt, he inadvertently mows down Regis Philben, who was making his way down the sidewalk )

( The picture fades out )

And just FYI, wright is one of the 20 players w/ a higher # at 26.2%

BTW, there are only 5 players w/ a higher % than bay