As if the Red Sox being in town for a series against the Yanks wasn’t reason enough to imbibe, behold the greatest drinking game ever – guaranteed to get you shin-deep by the third inning and utterly blind by the twenty-seventh out.
Get Ready:
- Sit yourelf in front of a television with a “cable connection”.
- Buy booze…lots of it. Array it about the living room.
Get Set:
- Sit on couch. Open first bottle of booze.
- flip “channel” to the Yankees vs. Red Sox game on ESPN…unfortunately, you will need to turn the sound up as well. This is usually somewhat straining for a Yankee fan to do with Jon Miller, Joe Morgan, and Orel Hershiser announcing.
Go! Every time you see or hear the following, drink:
- Whenever an interview is shown or quoted containing a charming, wry quip from a Red Sock, drink.
- Each time you hear the words “Yankee” and “payroll” in the same sentence, drink.
- When any reference is made to awesome crew that Theo Epstein has gathered/traded/signed/drafted/cajoled/conjured/confabulated or the supremacy of the minor league system that Theo Epstein has built, drink.
- Every time the words “gritty” or “gutsy” (or its variant, “gutty”) are used to describe Dustin Pedroia, Kevin Youkilis, Josh Beckett, or John Lackey, drink.
- Each time a Yankee shows “guts” and/or “grit” but is completely ignored, drink. Drink again if it’s a no-name that Brian Cashman picked up for $99 in auto parts.
- Any video clip of Jon Papelbon either staring into the plate or celebrating a save, drink.
- Any video clip of Joba Chamberlain in trouble, drink.
- Any video clip of Dustin Pedroia laying out for appears to be a routine ground ball, drink.
- Any video clip of Robinson Cano making a play “lazily”, I mean, “slowly”, drink.
- If they show a clip of ARod smirking, drink.
- If they follow the clip of ARod smirking with Big Papi doing his “aw shucks” smile, drink three times.
- Any reference made to the right field wall being closer to the plate in the new Stadium, drink.
- If the Sox are losing, drink every time you hear the word “injury”.
- Drink each time an apologetic highlight reel is run of the Boston player who just gave up seven runs, struck out looking, made a costly error, blew a save, or otherwise glaringly shit the bed just moments before.
- Whenever Jon Miller mentions Joe Morgan’s Big Red Machine, Joe Morgan’s Hall of Fame career as a second baseman, or any single statistic for Joe Morgan as a second baseman with the Big Red Machine, drink.
- Whenever Joe Morgan, himself, mentions Joe Morgan’s Big Red Machine, Joe Morgan’s Hall of Fame career as a second baseman, or any single statistic for Joe Morgan as a second baseman with the Big Red Machine, drink.
- Each time Joe Morgan is called upon to break down a swing, drink. Drink again if what Joe Morgan says has no visible connection with what the hitter is actually doing.
- Whenever Orel Hershiser says something unconsciously yet unmistakingly homo-erotic, drink. (example: “Well, I remember playing hackey-sack against the wall of the showers with Fernando Valenzuela in LA!” – real quote!)
- Whenever Joe Morgan stubbornly disagrees with a call against the Red Sox, drink.
- Whenever Joe Morgan stubbornly agrees with a blown call against the Yanks, drink.
- Whenever Jon Miller takes it upon himself to show some measure of professional balance in complimenting a Yankee, drink each time the compliment is ignored, re-qualified, criticized, marginalized, denied, or otherwise stonewalled by the other two announcers.
- Drink each every time Boston is lauded for its defense. Drink again for each error the Boston players actually made.
- Every time ESPN plays “funny” with the strike zone graphics, drink.
- Any time a bright, swooshy ESPN graphic distracts from the actual game on the field, drink. Every time they interrupt the broadcast to show highlights from games between non-contenders, drink.
- Drink for each strained connection made to Babe Ruth, or each time his face is flashed on the screen.
- Each time that ESPN paid the Steinbrenners top dollar to broadcast a Yankees vs. Red Sox game with the hopes of jump-starting “The Rivalry” only to have a loss to the Yankees follow, finish the bottle!
word up Canada…the KCs, the Pirates, the As, etc…all these “small market” teams’ owners…they take their taste of the luxury tax, stick it in their pockets & put a sub prime club on the field, year after year. And the fans of these teams can hate the Yankees all they want…but those same fans need to look a little closer to home to find the real villain.
Fucking A-rod!!!
FINALLY he swung on pitches inside!!!!!!!!!
Massive BBQ on the Agenda for me this afternoon, enjoy the Game, Grunts!
have a nicely charred piece of animal flesh for me slam.
Watch the fuck out for this guy:
http://www.baseball-reference.com/minors/player.cgi?id=mastro001dar
shoe is that a friend of yours?
Al had a night, huh?
big night jrz for the big man @ the hot corner…HRs #2 & #3 were heat seekers.
Can someone tell me if KRod’s Imam-do and Allah-beard make him look MORE or LESS sympathetic?
He went down and got that 2nd one and just muscled it. Thats good to see but the 3rd one was his classic HR swing.
Not sure which game it was but did you see the HR the LH Little League kid hit?
I feel bad for him only because of the way the media made what he did sound only to see the FIL mugging it up for DN photographers with not a mark on him.
Derek Jeter SS
Nick Swisher RF
Mark Teixeira 1B
Alex Rodriguez 3B
Robinson Cano 2B
Lance Berkman DH
Curtis Granderson CF
Brett Gardner LF
Francisco Cervelli C
That’s the lineup I like.
Didn’t see the LL homer.
ellsbury BACK on the DL?
I think it was the NW game and the kid was from Washington. It was a bomb!
I will see if I can find it on espn
Cant find a video. It was on SC
talking about the walkoff?
http://www.nesn.com/2010/08/jack-edwards-provides-call-for-dramatic-walkoff-homer-for-rhode-island-little-league.html
10 losses for the sox this season in games they led by 3+ runs. Only Cleveland has more.
No, the HR I am talking about makes that shot look like a ground ball.
WOW is he locked in.
I’m not in for the game toxday
kid is perfect thru 4.
They didnt score but that was tough to watch.
Jose Aguilar makes a bad throw to Toby whitewood at 1st, luckily Engelberg was backing up but made a bad throw to tanner Boyle covering 2nd allowing the runner to move to 3rd.
In short, it was pure crud
What is with all the throwing errors?
That was a mess 1yank. looks like the offense was on the plane before a Sunday road game started again too. Its a shame cuz AJ settled in real nice after a tough 1st couple innings.
this game may qualify as the worst loss of the season…I smell a closed door meeting. More errors than hits in this game. Unacceptable.
terrible
1-0 final?? are you shitting me??I guess Steve Busby was pitching today?? What a pile of shit team
SLOPPY
VERY
Gazoo needs to smarten the fuck up or get his wetback ass out of there.A fucking split with the Royals…WTF!!!????
The whole team took a day of rest
it’s not like they are 10 games up that they can be taking days off like today.
T.B. wins !
cant be wasting 8IP 1R from a starter like that either
good call jrz especially a start like that from Ass Juice…8 IP & 1 run outta him…who know when you’ll get that again.
cant win if ya dont score
true dat partner.
Looks like we are gonna get CC next Sunday
I am about 95% sure I am going to the game on Tuesday night with my Uncle and a few cousins so I am gonna wait to see what I can do about tix at the box office that night. Hopefully I get them right there and if not I will make a move on stubhub Wed. morning. I hope we hear from Kev and 4Ever before then.
jrz you gonna lay out the $$ for all the tix?
Hopefully the Yankees put on a better show , for you guys next Sunday. Than they did today
Yeah, I will put it out and get the scratch from you guys on Sunday.
Hopefully 1yank, BUT, it is gonna be a Sunday get away day so we have to hope the offense has their heads in the game at hand. Going back to the Sunday afternoon in TB, and maybe further, they have not done much on offense during day games when they are leaving town. Didnt have a real good day against boston last Monday afternoon.
1 run in the last 3 get away days that were day games.
jrz how many tix you plan on getting total? Do we have a definite head count as to how many of us are going? Hate to see you lay out $$ for tix & then someone doesn’t show.
JRZ:
Two tix for me, if that’s OK.
Boston goes down like a cheap whore 7-3
I got you down for 2 Joe, no worries. As far as I know, this is the list …
LB
Levi
Supe
Joe+ 1
Slammer
Me
My boy Hefty
Kev was a maybe and 4 hasnt been heard from. Sorry if I am missing somebody
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